Dear Revered Rick,
Why did the color pink get assigned to girls and blue to boys? Why is it when you have two teams if one is wearing red and the other blue, red always wins? Do you think it is because red is similar to pink, and that girls are naturally better than boys?
Sincerely,
Jo Wants to Know
Dear Jo Wants,
I must first comment that it is true that across cultures pink is more often assigned to to girls and blue to boys. You are also semi-correct in the comment about "red always wins". Research shows that teams that wear red win more often. (but not always miss Jo-wants-to-know-it-all).
The reasons for these things are as rich and varied as Aunt Tilly's home-Knit Christmas Sweater, her Christmas punch and Aunt Tilly all rolled into one hob-nobbin' yule log! So Get ready for a SHOCKING (but conveniently sexually biased) TRUTH!
The truth of the matter predates the history of man altogether and goes straight into the history and evolution of Dinosaurs.
Keep in mind that this ribbon on the Dino pic is not ordinary pink ribbon. Strangely enough, it is actually a fungus that commonly grew on the necks of female dinosaurs. It is believed that the pheromones of male or female dinosaurs contributed to the color the fungus that coated the bewildered baby Dino's blue or pink. The fungus had many different color variations, some of them complex, that effected the Dino's in many different ways...
Well, what the hell does this have to do with us as human people you might be asking. Well, as you may have guessed by now, we are not descendants of the dinosaurs. But we are descendants of the proto-geological sludge that became the fungus that mushroomed into mankind...
Science-type intellectuals with degrees spanning the globe have uncovered many quirky things about these fungi, their evolution, and their role in our gender style, preferences, and smartness or dumbnesses.
Smarter people have shown that a particular combination of your "frfa's" or "functioning retroactive fungal anomalies" leads you to your clothing choices, your preferences and a distinct mapping of your "a.w.e.s.o.m.e.n.e.s.s" or "acute, whole, evaluative, summary, of, me, excluding, naysayers , except, sometimes, sally".
The depth and extent of this profound research study has yet to be determined, but it proves to shake the world of science, not to mention the fashion industry, to it's core.
While the "smoking gun" of why women have frfa's that point to smaller amounts of a.w.e.s.o.m.e.n.e.s.s have yet to be determined. We have known that primary, secondary or tertiary colors are more bold then mixed shades like pink.
The unmixed colors like blue or red when taken in the light of a warring and competing fungus from which we evolved show that blue is peaceful and red is warring. It is not gender specific in the realm of all out war (Red) or lasting peace (blue), but when it comes to the watered down version or red (Pink) we understand the nature of this fungal organism to be attuned to small wars and pointless battles which seems to cling to women like a fungus.
The end.
Reverend Rick
P.S. I love's you alls so don't worries.
Not to override my own point, but I'm still giving all my respect to tha ladies fighting breast cancer, as Oct. is breast cancer awareness month. (I'm aware of the irony considering i just bashed the color pink and all women everywhere...)
.....Love you Jo
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